I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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