I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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