He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
