Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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