Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
