if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
