There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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