yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
