I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
