I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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