Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
