I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize