This girl is more easily done than said...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
