The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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