marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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