Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
