Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
