Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
