I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
