Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
