She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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