her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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