Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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