She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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