Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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