You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
