She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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