3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
