I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
