Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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