we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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