Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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