Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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