i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize