I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we're making bets on your personal life
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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