We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
