You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
