from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
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