Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
