I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
