Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
