hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
