is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize