Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
