i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize