i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
