I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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