he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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