I hate all girls vehemently.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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