For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize