no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
