Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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