that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
