Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
