I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
