3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
