a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
