Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize