How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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