i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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