Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
