He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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