You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
