Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
